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Close to me

January 22, 2007

Have you ever read a book that you wanted the keep to yourself, that you didn’t want the world to know about (even though they have probably already found it) because it was just so personal and spoke to you so intimately, you felt it was written for you?

I just finished one like that, and while I’m bursting at the seams to talk about it, I also am feeling very territorial over it, LOL. Must be HORMONES!

I stayed home with JT today who was running a high fever. His second in two weeks, and a cold/flu the whole time that hasn’t gone away. Still, Kaiser says don’t bring him in, hummff. He slept from close to 2 pm until after 5pm. He layed down in my bed and slept and slept and I layed down next to him and read and read. I finished about 300 pages, and had already read close to 200. I haven’t done that in a long time.

It scared me so much when JT woke up, he wouldn’t look me in the face, and was screaming like he’s never screamed in his life and I couldn’t calm him down. I thought for sure he was having delusions. I was just about ready to throw him in the tub with some cool water and then take him to the emergency room. That’s when the fever broke. He stopped screaming, and when I asked him why he was screaming he said that he screamed the fever out of him, and has been fine for two hours since. Scary!!

I’ve been feeling a little better today (in regards to the morning sickness), but I had a terrible day on Saturday and puked 3 times. I’m so tired of puking, that I eat anyway, and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. But bread and apple juice coming back up is no good, and I’ll probably never drink apple juice again in my life. I really hope this ends soon. I’ve been reading that for some people, it’s so bad they don’t have good days, all throughout the pregnancy, and end up in the hospital from dehydration. So I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. Everyone I know seems to think it’s a girl, since the pregnancy is so different this time. At first I wanted a girl, but now I’m a little scared of having a girl. I’m not sure why, just a feeling I’m having. Again HORMONES!

I haven’t put up any layouts here on the blog in quite a while, although I imagine that many of you have already seen these layouts. Let me share for those of you who haven’t seen them.


Here’s a layout of baby Noah who was born last Sept. (Mady’s little bro). I did this while I was briefly on the Studio Crew this month. Credits can be seen here.


Also done while with the Studio Crew, this is a scraplift of designer Traci Reed. Credits can be seen here.


Our new 6 month term with Jessica Bolton started in January, and one thing that we’ll be doing this term is challenging each other and blog readers with different things. Jenn started us off with a scraplift of Jessica. I tell ya, it was hard to pick one! Here’s what I came up with, and credits can be seen here.

I regretfully could not finish my term as a Studio Crew member. My morning sickness just took me too far out of it and I just didn’t feel like I could come back. Becky and the ladies there are very understanding and oh so inspiring, and I hope to spend as much extra time as I can muster hanging out there anyway, Studio Crew or not! So much talent going on over there!

I also regretfully resigned from Karen Hunt’s team. She did a check in with team members just after New Years and I decided I just couldn’t devote much more time to teams right now. So I’m a one team girl now, hmmm.

Part of that book was about changes, changes that you don’t want to happen, but inevitably come anyway. I feel like things in my life are changing and that I don’t have a lot of control over things. Not really my favorite place to be. But I’m happy to have my husband home with us more, and my son growing and loving and and being his charming self. And even though I have no idea what the next few months or years may bring, I’m doing my best to accept it. I think in a way, I’m mourning the life the three of us have had for the last year and half. Not sure how a fourth member of the family will change us, make us different. So if I seem different and weird right now, it’s because I’m HORMONAL and keeping these two men, who have been my whole life for many years, close to me.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. January 22, 2007 9:23 pm

    It’s crazy, isn’t it, to think about adding a new life to the family that you just finally sorted out? I felt the same way about wanting a girl and then not wanting a girl. I cried when I found out Emma was a girl because I had convinced myself I wanted a boy so bad. Man, those pregnancy hormones are such a trip. I hope you are able to get through it and feel better soon… I wish I knew what else could help. Have you tried those bracelets called “Sea Bands?” I use those for motion sickness on car trips and they work wonders. They say they work for morning sickness too – it’s just a pressure point thing.

    JT’s fever sounds so scary, I am so glad he’s okay! It’s such a bummer you had to drop your teams too. I had to drop Michelle Coleman when I got pregnant with Emma. 😦 But so many other things happened that just NEVER would have otherwise, that now I am glad it all went down like it did. I’m sure things will look the same to you in another year! I’m praying for you, chica!

  2. robin permalink
    January 23, 2007 4:42 pm

    Hey there chica – I hope you are feeling better. I can imagine that the morning sickness is no fun. 😦 Glad JT is feeling better. You have me all curious about the myster book here. Love the pages too! 🙂

  3. January 24, 2007 9:25 am

    I hope that the morning sickness is on the wane now, T! I never had it very bad with any of my pregnancies, for which I was very thankful (not that I didn’t have other big things to worry over!). I’ve known a couple of people who had it last the whole 9 months, and that is just awful.

    You would do great with a girl! The baby will be whatever is best for your family. I will admit to being very disappointed at first when I found out Bryce was a boy since I wanted a girl so bad! now look at us with 4 girls. Mark wanted another boy with the last two, but of course we wouldn’t trade Brenna or Sarah for anyone else.

    I’m glad JT is starting to get better. It is always so scary when the kiddos are sick and there isn’t anything else to do but wait. The whole screaming thing would freak me out!

    Great pages BTW!

  4. tracy permalink
    January 25, 2007 6:54 am

    oh man love. your post moved me so much on so many levels.

    first…glad JT is better. nothing hurts us to the soul more than our child hurting and feeling helplessness to make it better.

    Second…I have not felt like that about a book, but would love to,lol. How cool that someone else’s words could echo something that is in you. That is something special and you are lucky.

    As for your sickness…I am so sorry love. That is so hard and I wish you would feel better soon. And either way…you know that your baby will be just perfect for you guys. I went back and forth between wanting another boy and wanting a girl. Now I know…our family is complete and perfect. But hormones are such a bitch eh?

    Love the layouts and you dollface!

  5. January 27, 2007 10:57 pm

    The book sounds very cool. I really just don’t have the patience to read anymore, but used to be a huge, huge, HUGE bookworm when I was younger. So weird how I’ve done a complete 180.

    Glad JT’s fever broke, but wow on the screaming, and that answer he gave about it is wild.

    I was a bit uncomfortable with the idea of a girl at first too after being used to being a boy’s mom, but now it’s just the most natural thing in the world. I’m sure you’ll do fine either way. 🙂

    The pages are wonderful. Sorry about the teams. Hope you’re feeling better soon!

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